My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
