He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He did a backflip because drugs
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