What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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