This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
