Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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