just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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