Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
