Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize