Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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