This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
