ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
