Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
