We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
