so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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