I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize