You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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