Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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