I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize