If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
