I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
