I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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