No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
