This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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