apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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