no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize