and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
