well I can't set my house on fire every night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
