i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
