Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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