Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
