She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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