About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
