rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
