i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
