i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
