I'm eating all of the evidence.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
birth control should be required to get into college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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