he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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