cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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