AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
the liver wants what the liver wants
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How does one acquire holy water?
my liver is dry heaving
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
