Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
