Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
