you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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