I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
