lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
