Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
