she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
