I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize