last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
4 words: hood of his car
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
