You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
