You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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