I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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