K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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