Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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