I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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