Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
