im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
