Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
