Nicole vs. Life
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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