I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just found puke in my bra..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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