she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
porn star boner night. come get it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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