Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
third nipple confirmed
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize