Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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