pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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