this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
