watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
