he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
