i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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